AWARENESS OF MY MORTALITY

excerpt from CHEROKEE DIARY(see Aug 31, 2010)

After a serious health crisis in 2003 with a prognosis of potentially a short life span I was totally jolted into an awareness of my mortality and that the rest of my life needed to be taken very seriously.  There were things I wanted to do and learn and explore. Time to see what and who I was all about. I sat in my livingroom.... I have always  drawn and pulled a pad in front of me and drew what I could see of myself, my lap, my knees, my cup of coffee and then asked myself "what do you really want to see in front of you?"  I immediately drew a mountain scene with a river flowing in front of it and birds, butterflies and squirrels jumping around. HMMMM?

I planned a vacation to the mountains of North Carolina to visit the Cherokee Reservation.  There was a vague pull to it in the back of my mind, not a full blown plan for the future.

When I arrived on the reservation in the summer of 2003 I stopped at the Bureau of Indian Affairs and asked about living on the reservation.  She asked me if I was Cherokee, I said "not enough to enroll but very much a part of me".  She said I could rent not own and sent me to another lady who sent me to a man who could possibly help....He very graciously invited me to sit in his office and tell him what I wanted.  He asked pertinent questions of my income etc and then said "yes, would you like to see an open apartment?"  This was within the first half hour of coming on to the reservation!  He took me to an apartment, showed me the balcony. I saw what was in my drawing! A mountain scene with a river with birds, butterflies and squirrels right outside the window....A feeling of coming home settled inside....The next spring I retired and moved to Cherokee.